Understanding your emotional needs in a romantic relationship is important. The Love Language quiz might help you figure out which qualities you want from – and can give to — a partner. But it’s also just as crucial to learn about your physical needs. Enter: the Erotic Blueprint.
What is the Erotic Blueprint?
The Erotic Blueprint claims to be a framework to help you discover your sexual preferences. It was developed by Jaiya Ma, a somatic sexologist whose businesses offer “sexuality education, coaching, and empowerment,” according to her website.
She has over two decades of clinical research that led her to develop the Erotic Blueprint. It’s “a map of arousal that reveals your specific erotic language,” according to her website.
The Erotic Blueprint became popular after it was featured on Netflix’s “Sex, Love & goop,” (yep, the one and only goop). It’s Gwyneth Paltrow’s show about helping couples become more intimate.
And there's an Erotic Blueprint quiz?
To discover your Erotic Blueprint, you can take one of two online quizzes that claim to define your sexual identity, which fall within one of five categories: energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, and shapeshifter.
The quiz asks you questions like: “During sex what do you find yourself thinking about most?” Some responses include: “I sense more than I think. I sense emotions my partner may be feeling or things that are hard to explain.” And “If I’m thinking, it’s usually about my orgasm or my genitals or the hotness of my lover.”
The basic version (the free one, we tested) consists of 10 questions and gives you your “Primary Blueprint Type” (like energetic or kinky). The “in-depth” quiz option (cost: $17) gives you an entire “Pleasure Profile” by telling you your percentage for each category.
After you complete the basic questionnaire, you should receive an email with your personal Erotic Blueprint. Your results identify which category of the five above you most relate to. And they’ll also give you examples of your “superpowers” (aka what turns you on) and your “shadows” (what turns you off).
Does the Erotic Blueprint actually carry any weight?
Depends. The Erotic Blueprint can help give you a jumping off point to see what arouses you. And it might give you more tangible ways to get in the mood (like taking a hot bath if you’re a sensual person or trying a new sex position if you’re kinky). But before you try to spice things up, experts say the best way to find sexual compatibility in your relationship is to communicate openly with your partner. So that they’re on board with anything you want to try first.
Other experts in the field agree. “Park your emotional response, and try to be curious, detached, and present,” Krystal Woodbridge, a psychosexual and relationship therapist, told the Guardian in 2019: “Say to your partner: ‘Tell me more about that.’”
“And you must try to accept what you’re hearing,” she said. “We are hardwired to think that our reality is the only one, and that other perspectives are wrong.”
theSkimm
If you need some help figuring out what you like — and don’t like — in bed, then try taking the Erotic Blueprint quiz. But regardless of your results, make sure you are communicating with your partner about your needs (and theirs) so that you can achieve a fulfilling and healthy sex life.
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