CNN
—
It’s that time of year when friendships are broken; children get estranged from parents and office feuds turn personal: the season of the candy corn debate.
We all have our thoughts. But we can’t all be right, right? Who’s been on the wrong side of candy history all this time?
Two of CNN’s most outspoken candy corn commentators met to put this controversy to rest.
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Delaney Strunk
Please tell me you’ve seen the news report that Pennsylvania has apologized for creating candy corn.
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Kendall Trammell
What exactly are they apologizing for? Creating greatness?
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Delaney Strunk
More like creating an orange abomination.
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Kendall Trammell
Wow
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Kendall Trammell
Tell me how you really feel, Delaney
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Delaney Strunk
I’m just saying! In the history of all candy on the market, candy corn is the worst. Period. I wouldn’t feed it to my worst enemy.
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Kendall Trammell
So what happened to the diversity of the marketplace? Are you anti-capitalism too?
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Kendall Trammell
Don’t answer that
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Delaney Strunk
You truly believe candy corn is good? It’s glorified candle wax.
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Kendall Trammell
I’ve never had wax before, so I can’t speak on that.
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Kendall Trammell
What I HAVE had is glorious sugar bites.
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Delaney Strunk
Wow. Who hurt you? Your poor little taste buds. They’ve been through so much.
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Kendall Trammell
I mean I suppose Pennsylvania could apologize on your behalf for not having a mature taste palate?
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Delaney Strunk
I mean if you want to be cool and edgy, sure. Enjoy your chicken feed. But if you want to see the true light of day, genuinely eat any other candy.
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Kendall Trammell
Ummmmmmmmmmmm
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Delaney Strunk
Truth Bomb. BOOM.
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Kendall Trammell
OK but you don’t have to eat them plain if you are struggling that hard
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Kendall Trammell
Please hold
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Kendall Trammell
LOOK HOW BEAUTIFULLLLLLLL
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Kendall Trammell
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Kendall Trammell
SO CREATIVEEEEEE
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Delaney Strunk
Kendall, there are so many other DIY food hacks that involve things like, gee I don’t know, actual food!
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Delaney Strunk
And honestly, I’d rather eat finger nails than that candy corn ball.
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Kendall Trammell
What, you’re gonna hate on popcorn now too?
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Delaney Strunk
The popcorn is great! See, we can agree on things.
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Kendall Trammell
I wouldn’t necessarily call this an agreement. You’re literally trying to change the topic.
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Delaney Strunk
I just don’t know how to communicate with someone who is SO wrong.
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Delaney Strunk
But I don’t want to ruin our friendship over something as silly as candy corn.
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Kendall Trammell
You like chocolate right? Peanuts??
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Delaney Strunk
Oh, 100 percent. Chocolate and peanuts is a match made in candy heaven.
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Kendall Trammell
BOOM!💥
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Kendall Trammell
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Delaney Strunk
I…….
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Delaney Strunk
My eyes. Make it stop. That’s more terrifying than half the movies I’ve watched this October.
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Kendall Trammell
DIY CANDY CORN TRAIL MIX
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Kendall Trammell
I guess you haven’t watched “Hocus Pocus” before if that’s terrifying you.
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Delaney Strunk
If you like candy corn, is there any candy you hate? I’m worried if you eat that, you’ll eat anything.
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Kendall Trammell
I am not an omnivore, Delaney.
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Kendall Trammell
Where is HR?
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Delaney Strunk
Wait…. I have a really important question.
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Delaney Strunk
Do you eat licorice?
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Kendall Trammell
Oh hard pass.
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Delaney Strunk
Twizzlers?
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Kendall Trammell
Absolutely not.
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Delaney Strunk
So you hate red licorice or black licorice?
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Kendall Trammell
Yes.
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Delaney Strunk
FINALLY. Glad we can agree on something!
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Kendall Trammell
Agreed.